Building Hope Counseling Services

It’s that time of year again!

Good cheer, good food, good friends…

Panic attacks in the driveway, crying in the bathroom, passive-aggressive meals with family…

Ahhh, the holidays are upon us!

If you’re feeling nervous about seeing your family, know that you are not alone.

With society at-large telling us that it is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, many of us can feel down, stressed, anxious, or downright depressed with the pressure of it all.

Keep reading for a few tips to keep the merriment rolling and your boundaries strong.

Set a time limit – If you find that you can tolerate your cousins for three hours, but by three and half hours someone is crying (usually you), you can set limits on how much time you spend with them.

Set expectations early by nonchalantly announcing what time you will be leaving when you arrive. This way no one can be surprised when you exit before dessert.

Drive yourself – I suggest this for a few reasons.

First, it gives you control over the time spent at any given location.

Secondly, if there is an argument or tension with whomever drove you to grandma’s house you can avoid a continued argument in an enclosed space with an angry driver.

Finally, this will give you space to prepare and decompress from any engagements before you have to pretend to like anyone else for the rest of the year.

Limit substance use – Learning to cope without substances can be difficult. If everyone else is having a glass of wine (or, if your family is cool, smoking a joint), why can’t you?

Substances like alcohol and cannabis cloud your mind (“Well, duh, Mikaela, that’s the whole point!” I know, I know, but hear me out.) If your family argues easily, you can avoid adding to the intensity of that situation by making sure that you have full control of yourself.

Some people use substances to manage their feelings of vulnerability, anxiety, or insecurity.

However, it often has a counteractive effect, making the situation so much worse.

Pause before you respond – You cannot control how other people treat you. You can, however, choose to be the best version of yourself, no matter how crazy people are behaving after a little turkey and wine.

Allow there to be a break between the trigger and the response. You can help your body calm down and give your brain a minute to think by taking a deep breath or drinking some cold water before you answer.

You don’t have to stand for abuse from your family, but you also don’t have to lose your cool when you’re confronted with it.

Final Thoughts

Whatever your holiday traditions, Building Hope is wishing you joy, peace, and lots of different potato dishes.

Happy Holidays!