A doctor recently told me that I didn’t know how to sleep. This sounded ridiculous to me at the time – How could I not know how to do something that the body naturally has to do to survive? After following her suggestions I came to understand that I, in fact, did not know how to sleep. So, I ask you… Do you know how to breathe?
To start, let’s do a quick exercise – Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Take a deep breath. Did you notice the breath in your chest or in your belly?
If you are like me, you may have just taken a very deep breath from your chest. Let’s explore what this does to your body and your mind.
Has anyone ever told you to take a deep breath when you were upset? This might have felt dismissive or trite in the moment. However, research suggests that deep and intentional breathing can reduce symptoms of anxiety and is beneficial to a range of conditions including asthma and COPD. Breathing exercises, such as the one at the end of this post, are known to show benefits when practiced for 5-10 minutes a day as you slowly build up your endurance over time.
When we are children, we naturally breathe through our diaphragm, a muscle below our lungs and above our bellies. Breathing through our diaphragm leads to our bellies being pushed out and allows for more air to get into the lungs. However, as we get older many of us start breathing through our chests. We often receive messages through our cultural upbringing that we should sit and stand in specific ways to make ourselves look smaller and to take up less space. This results in keeping our cores still while we breathe.
Our nervous system has two pathways – You may have heard of them as “fight or flight” and “rest and digest”. Breathing through our chests activates the parts of our bodies that keep us safe. Chest breathing sends a signal to our bodies, “There is danger! Be alert!” This manifests as quick or shallow breathing, nausea, hypervigilance… Anxiety! Breathing with our bellies activates the part of our bodies that know how to relax. This type of breathing also sends a signal to our bodies, “This is a safe place.” This type of breathing helps you to stay calm and in control of your own actions.
You can practice breathing through your diaphragm. If I were explaining this to a child, I would instruct the child lay on their back, put their favorite stuffed animal on their belly, and take their stuffed animal on a roller coaster ride. As an adult, you can practice breathing with your belly by placing a hand on your chest and a hand on your belly while focusing on keeping your chest as still as possible as you breathe. Breathing with your belly may feel unnatural at first. The more you practice, the easier it will become.
Sometimes belly breathing will work effectively, providing you with a moment of calm when you are feeling out of sorts. Sometimes it won’t work the way you want it to. The more you practice, the more effective this resource will become. Comment below what you noticed about your breath today!
Try this to practice self awareness and emotional regulation!
Sit or lay in a comfortable position. Begin by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice the breath in your nose, mouth, chest, and belly. Do nothing to change your breath but notice how the breath changes itself with your attention.
Take a deep breath in, slowly through your nose. Exhale through your mouth.
If it feels good to you, place a hand on your chest and a hand on your belly. With your next inhale, focus on keeping your chest still while allowing the breath to move your belly.
How does this feel in your body? There is no wrong answer. For some, this is instantly comforting. For some, the sensation of breath can feel uncomfortable. Honor your own experience without judgement.
Resources:
If you are feeling overwhelmed by your mental health and need immediate assistance in the United States, please reach out to the National Suicide and Crisis Hotline by dialing 988 or by going to their website, 988lifeline.org. You do not need to be suicidal to reach out for help, the purpose of this hotline is to offer immediate help to anyone who is struggling with their mental health.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by your mental health and are searching for longer term care in the United States, please head to psychologytoday.com. On Psychology Today you can find therapists in your area who specialize in your issues and accept your insurance. If you are nervous to get started, you can ask a potential therapist for a 15-minute consultation prior to scheduling a full appointment.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by your mental health and are searching for longer term care in Massachusetts, please fill out the contact form on this website, buildinghopema.com. I would love to hear from you and to see if we are a good therapeutic fit.


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