Building Hope Counseling Services

There are certain moments in life when you can tell that everything is about to change.

These life transitions can be very exciting, but they can also be incredibly daunting. Graduating high school or college, getting married, starting a family or a new job or a new way of life – With every transition, you are stepping further away from who you were and entering a new world with new expectations and new rules of engagement.

While people around you are telling you to be hopeful and happy, you might feel like a fraud who is filled with so many conflicting emotions, you couldn’t name them all if you tried.

I’ll let you in a secret – Most people who are in the same boat as you are just as terrified of the water as you are. People are really great at faking being okay. Sure, there are a few influencers who will post themselves crying on TikTok but let’s be real – social media is for highlight reels, not bloopers. Most of us aren’t filming the panic attacks we’re having because the dishes are filling up the sink and the dogs are barking and that thing needs to get done and, and, and…

It’s important to be kind to yourself when you’re feeling down. If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, your spouse, or your kid, try not to say it to yourself either. And remember! You are doing all of this for the first time. Cut yourself some slack.

Here are some quick tips for when the change seems scary, and your emotions are getting the best of you:

1. Take a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Do this again and again until you can feel the tension leaving your body.
2. Get moving! Exercise, shake, dance, go for a walk, clean your room. Stress gets stuck in the body and one of the very best things you can do for yourself is help that energy move right on out.
3. Get nostalgic. Revisit some of your favorite movies, television shows, or books to bring back that feeling of peace you first experienced when Ryan Gosling told Rachel McAdams to go get what she wants from life (Do people still cry to The Notebook? Am I aging myself? It’s a classic, okay??) When I lost my first job out of college, I went back to my undergraduate campus and morosely walked around, remembering the good, the bad, and the ugly from that experience. It reminded me that things have been hard before and I was able to overcome them. Things will be hard again, and you will overcome them.
4. Take a break! (Run away with us for the summer, let’s go upstate… That’s a song. If you’re my client, you know that I have a song or movie reference for almost every occasion.) If you’re getting fatigued from trying to get that project done, a half hour break could be refreshing and actually help you to finish things more quickly than if you keep slogging along, cursing your existence.
5. Make a plan. There is something so satisfying about having a long to-do list and slowly crossing each and every item off. I don’t know about you, but sometimes there are so many ideas and things to do floating around my head, I just sit on the couch and stare at the wall because I’m totally overwhelmed. Writing it all down is a great way to get organized and help yourself get some things done.

Remember, transitions are a natural part of life, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Embrace the changes, trust the process, and allow yourself to grow through the experience. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and know that with time, the unfamiliar will become familiar, the daunting will become manageable, and the new will become wonderfully routine.

You are capable of navigating these changes, and you don’t have to do it alone. Seek support from friends, family, and maybe a mental health professional (hiya!), cherish the journey, and celebrate your progress.

You are writing a beautiful new chapter in your life, and it’s going to be extraordinary.

Mikaela’s Playlist – Songs to get you into your feelings about the changes you’re going through.

1. Stop This Train – John Mayer
2. Home – Michael Bublé
3. She Used To Be Mine – Sarah Bareilles
4. Everything I Did To Get To You – Ben Platt
5. You Might Not Like Her – Maddie Zahm